My bike is sad

My new bike – Joy – is very sad.

Born in late 2024, she had so much promise. A posthumous gift from my dearly departed parents, who may never have understood the idea of a custom bike, but who would have been happy to see me spend my inheritance on something that makes me happy, the name Joy is a play on my family name, and the feeling that riding bikes brings me.

Joy came to life at Auren Bikes, built in partnership with Will, who listened, then engineered my ideas into a titanium, custom-built steed, designed for touring.

She was delivered in December, 2024, but arrived slightly broken, and her maiden voyage was stymied while we waited for parts from Germany. She is very special, with a titanium frame, and, instead of a normal bike drivetrain with derailleurs and a chain, she has a Pinion gearbox, with electric shifters and a belt drive – no more greasy chains or bike tatts. She is very high tech and is meant to see me out, touring bike-wise.

She spent 2025 in waiting, while I gallivanted around, hiking in Japan, attending a wedding in Wales and making a bike-free (gasp!) tour of Europe. She continued waiting in early 2026 while I rode from Burra to Bendigo, leaving her behind and taking my mountain bike, Lexie.

Finally, it is her turn. She is destined to cover the length of the Rhine River, from Oberalppass in Switzerland to Hoek van Holland in the Netherlands. The time is right, the trip is nigh …

But Joy seems to attract bad luck. Even cosseted in her very special bike bag, she is not impervious to trouble, and somewhere between Melbourne and Zurich, while I sat cosseted myself in a large seat with a glass of champagne, Joy got dropped on her butt. Her bike rack was crushed, concertinaed into uselessness.

So my first few days in Zurich were spent doing less sight-seeing and more research into bike shops in Zurich, while I tried to hunt down a replacement rack. It didn’t help that the day I was hunting was a Monday and in these parts of the world Monday is a lot like a Sunday, with many businesses, including bikes shops, closed.

My mission failed, but on the advice of the lovely Ana, from Velo Plus in Oerlikon, I was able to order a new rack from Galaxus, a kind of Swiss Amazon, with a delivery time that, fingers crossed, would work in with my plans. But even ordering online was an ordeal, as I found out that you can only order from Galaxus if you have a Swiss address linked to your credit card. Luckily we had connected with Kynan, a former TUSC-an who has lived in Zurich for eighteen years now. He was able to order and receive the new bike rack while I was away in Malta for a week.

So the rack arrived, Neil and I installed it in a busy morning before catching a train to Andermatt to start our real bike adventure.

But Joy has got a mushy rear brake. When I grab it, the lever pulls almost to the handlebar before catching. This is a sign of air in the hydraulic lines, and requires a brake bleed. So this morning we fronted up to Velo Plus, ready to beg them to do a quick brake bleed. The fellow in the shop agreed that was what needed to happen, but said they were booked out for three weeks – great for business, but really bad for me!

Today we were headed to Andermatt – a ski town by winter, and bike haven by summer. Surely, surely, there would be a bike repair shop in Andermatt?

Yes, of course there is, but sadly, no bike repair shops are open today. They open Friday, and by Friday I will be far away, or perhaps dead from malfunctioning brakes, as tomorrow we have the great descent of the trip – from Oberalppass to Ilanz, a drop of around 1600m, depending on who you believe.

I figure I have three options:

1. Ride anyway. My front brake is good and the rear brake comes back to life after a few pumps. Maybe I will be lucky; maybe I will end up dead. Neil, who is supposed to care deeply for me, favours this option, which is a bit of a worry.
2. Catch the train to the next town, Ilanz, and sulk there while Neil rides and I go around bike shops begging someone to help me.
3. Catch the train early to Ilanz, beg a bike shop, then if successful, catch the train back to Oberalppass and ride down.

I’ll let you know later how I got on … maybe!