Hills, Thrills and Spills

There’s one thing I don’t like about Ilanz. It’s a pretty enough city, with a small and quiet (on a Thursday night) old town and a river that runs through. But there are two damn clocks that, 24 hours a day, chime not only the hour but every bloody quarter hour. It’s quaint and cute during the daytime, but at night … give me the tools and I will dismantle the bloody things in the best, most efficient way I can! Suffice to say, I heard many hours and quarter hours during the course of the night, even after I shut the room windows, choosing stuffiness over loudness.

The last thing I hear as we ride away from Ilanz are the damn clocks striking eleven. That’s the end of it, because by the next quarter, half, hour, we are well on our way climbing up to Versam.

The deal is you spend the first two or so kilometres getting out of town (and away from the damn clocks), then there is about a 7.5km climb – not a difficult, kill yourself climb, but a gentle(ish) and steady climb up from Ilanz, way above the valley floor to Versam, and what is described as a “balcony” carved into the limestone cliffs, far above the Rheine valley.

In Versam itself there isn’t much of a view, but as we leave town, fortified by a cool drink at a Gasthof at the top, the road curves, gently a first, and then accelerates into a series of hair-raising switchbacks, enough to test the nerves and the brakes of any cyclist.

The switchbacks we rode down yesterday were steep and challenging enough (especially with compromised brakes) but these ones today are next level, requiring full concentration and hands constantly on the brakes. It’s a pity, as the views down into the valley are stupendous, but there’s hardly anywhere to stop and enjoy; there’s a split second to take it all in before another turn.

With the steep switchbacks done, we enjoy the views from a bridge, then continue along the “balcony” road on a more sedate but nonetheless steep and challenging road, made more challenging by narrowness of the road (passing a large truck is hair-raising) the odd tunnel and the occasional driver who can’t work out which side of the road to drive on.

At one point we are stopped by a roadworks traffic light, then after being waved on I think, and may even say out loud, I hope they count bikes before they let traffic through from the other end. It turns out they don’t, because at a particular narrow point in the road a car sweeps around, coming toward us, going faster than you would think reasonable, sees me, doesn’t brake, doesn’t move to the right, and has the gall to honk at me while I am holding a line only inches from my edge of the road.

It was an Audi. Of course.

The road straightens, and becomes a gentle downhill into the next town, where we stop for lunch. Tomato and mozzarella salad is becoming (ha! Already was!) my absolute favourite and I have it any chance I can. (A bit like Neil with carpaccio, but a lot more vegetarian.)

After lunch we have a gentle, fun downhill to the river, and cross right at the confluence of the upper and lower Rheines, then endure a steep climb, made worse by the hellish sun in the little village of Tamins. My endless supply of gears come in very useful again.

Then it is a fairly sedate (flat) ride into Chur. We ride along a flat green valley floor then an industrial area as we enter the outskirts of town.

So we’ve had hills. We’ve had spills. What’s missing?

Tonight we are staying at Bogentrakt, a former prison turned hostel. We are only a few minutes away from there, with Neil navigating, me following, and we’ve tracked through some fairly hairy city/town traffic already. Neil stops suddenly at a pedestrian crossing. I brake hard and come to a quick stop, but cannot get a foot down quickly enough and my super heavy bike makes a rocky swan dive to the right, hurling itself on top of me. The pair of us make quite the inelegant mess. I believe I made a fairly inelegant statment in the split second between when I was last upright and when I was sprawled on the ground.

In a testament to human kindness, a couple of men come to my rescue. One is trying to lift the (heavy) bike off me but my foot is still clipped into my left pedal and he does’t realise. It is hard to direct a rescuer when you don’t share a common language.

Fortunately Neil comes to rescue me from my rescuer and I am soon upright, on the footpath, and checking Joy for injury. She has sustained a very slight graze to the bar end (the rubber bits on the end of the handlebars) – but nothing else. The sticking out panniers I think protect her from further injury. I have also sustained a slight graze to the knee (and significant bruising to my pride) but my senior bones are all intact. I’m a bit shaken, but keen to get away from the scene, so we walk the rest of the way to Bokentrakt.

Pretty soon an end of day beer is in order and then we start the hunt for food. It is Friday night, and the city is busy. There is no space outside at any of the restaurants we visit. We end up inside in a busy, probably touristy restaurant where I am able to try the vegan version of a local favourite – capuns. They are basically a stuffed dumpling, wrapped in spinach, or some other green, and cooked in milk. Just in case, I also order some asparagus with hollandaise (very seasonal and popular here) but the capuns are delicious.

We sit outside at Bogentrakt after dinner. There is a bar/restaurant there, and it is busy with guests and other people. A waitress there tells us sternly that we can’t sit there if we don’t drink, so we order drinks. The outside courtyard is busy and loud with people celebrating Friday night. They continue on long after my stamina gives out.

Stats for today:

• Distance: 35.56km
• Climb: 455m
• Average speed: 13.8km/h
• Average temperature: 33C
• Moving time: 2:34:49
• See our ride on Strava

The beer picture

At the end of a day’s ride, our tradition is to enjoy a beer, and to photograph it for posterity. Today’s beer picture was taken at a restaurant in Chur with one of the city’s many fountains in the background.

Along the way today:

Click on an image to scroll through the gallery at full size.